Let's Review

Happy Tuesday, sweetie! It’s so nice to be here with you on this sizzler of a day. How am I doing? Thank you for asking; what a thoughtful friend you are! In a word: good. In a sentence: the last seven days were a touch tumultuous in the emotional arena and now, naturally, I’m skipping back on over to the sunny side of the street with heaps of help from my posse of pals.

This essay, if you must know, will be retrospective. And Grace, pray do tell, what does that daddy of a word mean? Well, retro means cool – “hey, those jeans are super retro” – and spective sounds like spectacles. So, this particular piece of writing will be cool sunglasses.

Last year, on my 30^th birthday, I published a note titled “30 Things To Do in My 30^th Year.” Joke’s on me because these past 365 days were actually my 31^st year on Earth. I’m a girl, I’m bad at math, I’m sorry. Glaring idiocy notwithstanding, I think the piece was a tasty little treat. Filled with ideas of what to do and where to do it, the essay functioned, in many instances, as a guidepost for me in moments when I felt a little lost or directionless.

(If I can get vulnerable with you, which I am wont to do, I feel a little lost a lot of the time. A steady dribble of doubt. You know how when you have a UTI it feels like you always have to pee? Well, it’s sort of like my brain has a UTI and the medulla oblongata burns whenever I think too hard. Who do I want to be? Am I spending my time wisely? Should I text him? How many eggs can you eat in a day? A slew of questions with no certain answers. Except the last one; the number is 43!)

Given tomorrow is my 31^st birthday – eek, what did you get me?! – I would like to look back, with as little judgement as possible, and see what I was able to cross off last year’s list. Remember, the list is 30 bullets long, so now may be an appropriate time to refuel, refill, release, and then return.

I’ll wait.

Ready? Let’s do it.

1. Finish my screenplay – Incomplete. But I definitely thought about it a lot.

2. Finish The Artist’s Way – Negative. Okay, not a strong start.

3. Take a Shakespeare class – Yes! I am doing this at Stella Adler! Look at you achieving your goals, Gracie!

4. Journal daily – I’ll give myself a B on this.

5. Meditate + Pray – A+ on prayer. Room for improvement on meditation.

6. Sunday NYT – Absolutely. Major major major. The Sunday NYT crossword is my ketamine.

7. Learn DBT – What a wild goal. I think what I meant was “Read the DBT book Danielle gave me.” Unachieved. This will carry over to next year’s list.

8. Learn chess – Yep! Not a grandmaster, yet. But it was fun letting a nice Jewish boy show me how the horses jump.

9. Learn tennis – Also yes! Although, I wish I played more. If 31 has trad wife in my cards, then I will be sure to hit more regularly.

10. Learn golf – No. Anyone wanna take lessons at Chelsea Piers?

11. Do more Yoga – Yes! And, again, not enough.

12. Do H+I Service – Yes. IYKYK.

13. 92^nd Street Y – Yes! I saw Ray Romano, Lisa Kudrow, Linda Cardellini, and Luke Wilson speak on their Netflix series “No Good Deed.” Down to go back.

14. Bus Tour of NYC – No. Who was this for?

15. Monthly dinners with E – Not monthly, but I did get to see a good amount of E+J. She’s pregnant with her first baby due in August! Everybody say, “Good luck E!”

16. Have a white Christmas – Yes! It snowed in NYC. Thanks, God.

17. Russian Turkish Baths – Ohhhh yes. Went for the first time on Christmas Day. Met a man, probably the hottest one to date. We kissed, and more. Highly recommend.

18. Russian Tea Room – Big Val and I indulged.

19. St. John the Divine – Went to Christmas service here before aforementioned Russian Turkish Baths canoodling.

20. Acadia National Park – No! Shoot! I must go!

21. Cuba – Also no.

22. Dallas – Yes! I visited Silas and subsequently wrote a riveting piece that can be read here.

23. Hawaii – No, but I was invited. By an ex. We reconnected after 10 years. Girl, write about that!

24. Japan – Yes! Tokyo and Kyoto. Arigato gozaimasu.

25. Governor’s Island – Yes. It was fine. I think I was obsessing about a boy when I was there. Actually, I think I cried. 5/10, but mostly cus of the boy stuff.

26. Coney Island – No, and I really think you and I should go!

27. Buy a map of the world – Nope. But I still want one. I’d love to look at where I’ve traveled and what regions I still need to visit.

28. Read Joan Didion – Yes, ma’am.

29. Read Louise Penny – Yes, indeed.

30. Write 30 substacks! – I wrote 10! In baseball that’s a good percentage!

Wowie. I’m quite pleased with our results. My brain got bigger, my passport got inkier, and I saw mother fucking Ray Romano. Of course, by no means does this collection encompass all that I’ve accomplished. I mean, I also got a milk frother for Pete’s sake! However, it is enlightening to reflect on what was important to me a year ago, especially as I determine what will make next year’s list.

Now, the only feasible way to conclude, it seems to me, is in gratitude. This retrospective is irrefutable proof that I am absolutely drowning in blessings. The mere fact that I have a laptop to type on is reason enough to count myself lucky. My life is rife with goodness. I can travel, explore, play, learn, connect, and grow. I have the time and courage to try new things. My mind works, as do my eyes and limbs. And I have people, exceptional people, to share my time with. Life is good. 30 was great. It’s only getting better from here.